It’s been so long since I shared any writing here that I need to say hi before diving into my own stuff. Hello. How are you? What’ve you been up to? Are you taking care of yourself?
Speaking of hello
Last week I took my son to a pre-surgery appointment at the hospital. We hadn’t even reached the main lobby and I was feeling anxious and stressed about the upcoming surgery, and frustrated that I had to take him out of school for a visit that we probably could do over the phone. A cloud of general dread was also hanging around mostly because of lingering emotions hanging around from the six weeks we had spent there last year, triggered by the smell of the parking garage and the sound of the music in the elevator hall. Let’s just say I was not my best self.
And then something happened. Sitting on stool off to the side behind the front desk, a janitor was chatting with the receptionist. As we approached, he looked at my son and greeted him by name. “Hey buddy, how are you doing?” I hesitated for a second and the man looked at me and said, “I remember him from when he was here before.” It was really remarkable.
While it’s really impressive that he remembered us, I thought even more about the fact that he said hello at all, and how that made me feel. Saying hello can seem like a token transaction, but really it’s a way to let others know that we see them. My shoulders loosened. I was reminded of the importance of kindness.
Hälsa means both health and say hello
There is a beautiful word in Swedish — hälsa. As a verb, it means to say hello or to greet. As a noun, it means health. The words are connected etymologically from the word hel, which means whole and even perhaps from helig or holy, sacred. To say hello is to wish someone wholeness and wellness. How wonderful to be reminded that all these words are connected! A simple hi can say much more than we think.
Bringing back hello to healthcare — The 10/5 Rule
I remember reading about hospitals in the US launching campaigns to bring back saying hello in health care environments. Inspired by the service industry, they began adopting the 10/5 Rule, or the Hospitality Principle, to help instruct their staff on how to provide courteous service through greeting. The 10/5 basically recommends that when within 10 feet (3 meters) of a guest or patient, staff should smile and make eye contact; when within 5 feet (1.5 meters), staff should say hello. This also means that staff should stop their conversation with each other in preparation to greet.
What does this mean for health care?
The 10/5 Rule, with its roots in companies like Walmart and Disney, can seem like an American attempt to commodify courtesy or institute robotic friendliness. At the same time, I know that my experience as a caregiver and patient matters. When I’m treated well, I also treat others well, which must be better for staff in the long run.
So much of what we’re doing in hospitals these days when it comes to improvement is really expensive. New buildings, new IT systems, more staff. As a parent and patient, I know what feeling invisible, afraid and alone feel like, and sometimes I think healthcare is missing out when it focuses on the big ticket items and skips over delivering common kindness.
Personally this has gotten me very curious about how I say hello, and what it means to those around me. I’m going to be experimenting with how I can sincerely show the people around me that I see them and care about them. I’ll keep you posted. Until then, bye!
Other resources for “Say hello” campaigns
A video from Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh
Here’s a very enthusiastic training video from ASMMC Medical Center
Reflections from Tufts University professor on the power of saying hello from Psychology Today
Amy Rees Anderson shares background on the evidence of saying hello from Forbes magazine.