Intro to Durga’s Toolbox

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about my new role model/proposed patron saint of parents of children with special needs, the Hindi mother goddess Durga, who with the help of her eight (sometimes 10) weapons serenely defeats the demon intent on destroying the universe.

Since then, I’ve found myself fantasizing about my ultimate eight (or 10) weapons that I couldn’t live without. I quickly realized that because I’m a lover not a fighter, (as I described in another earlier post about my anti-Mamma Bear status), I got very juiced to conjure up a list not of weapons, but of tools.

Like many parents of kids with special needs, I have a kick-ass toolbox filled with tools honed and sharp, ready to be wielded at a moment’s notice, so that in any given situation — whether the demon is fear, exhaustion, lack of cash, bureaucrats, gatekeepers, odd-ball comments from strangers or five extra pounds weighing me down — I have a huge selection of highly specialized implements available to get the job done. Some tools are universal, some are personal. Some are physical objects, some are virtues. Some I’ve mastered, and let’s consider others to be on my wish list.

Be on the lookout for the contents of my toolbox. I’m curious about yours too. I want to hear about what tools you have up your eight (or 10) sleeves to keep you strong, courageous, joyful and compassionate.

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11 thoughts on “Intro to Durga’s Toolbox

  1. I love this idea! My number one tool in my arsenal is Katelin’s beloved Fox. He’s been everywhere with her and when noone can make her feel better, Fox comes to the rescue-he sings, tells her stories, goes in the bath, sometimes feeds her, talks to her, tell her he understands, listens and gives her lots and lots of kisses. Even though it’s my voice and me making him do all those things, she BELIEVES he loves her and that’s all that matters.

    1. What a great fox! And it’s so great too how our own sense of play can be an antidote to our child’s stress. I forget that too easily and sometimes find myself nagging or yelling, and am so surprised every time how much better things go when I’m able to become playful instead of stubborn. Good reminder!

  2. LOVE your post! We also need coping strategies when we need a break from a long day of using all of our tools.
    an unexpected afternoon glass of wine with a friend reassures me we all struggle and we are resilient.

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